Artist Statement
The first time I was gaslit by a doctor was in 2018. I’m a petite 20-something that at first glance, you’d assume is generally healthy. I went to the emergency room for chest pains and told him about my history with hypertension. After listing my symptoms and raising the concerns I researched, he condescendingly reassured that “It’s nothing.”
He even asserted his medical degree over the Black nurse who had continuously advocated for me to get more tests. He sent me off with a low dosage of ibuprofen, but the nurse forcefully encouraged me to get another opinion from my PCP. I followed up with my doctor, an African woman in her mid-thirties, and she ran a series of urine, blood, and EKG tests. The next day I got the daunting call to go to a medical center to receive an MRI and CT Scan after she noticed issues with my x-rays from the ER. Now panicked, I kept replaying the patronizing conversation between me and the ER doctor in my head. After weeks of testing and awaiting results, I had to see a Thymus cancer specialist for a mass in my chest. This doctor asserted that I was healthy, downplayed my symptoms, and didn’t review my MRI or CT Scan until I complained to the physician group. He said, “you’re young and not morbidly obese, it’s likely just acid reflux.” Frustrated with the cycle of reiterating my symptoms, being disregarded by medical professionals, and stressed from the numerous bills and inconclusive results; I gave up. The process of seeking answers around the thymus mass in my chest became a burden, I know it’s not malignant so that reassures me.
For many women, it is far too common to have our symptoms downplayed. For Black women, we are assumed to have hysteria and exaggerate our pain. Modern medicine has historically been prejudice, abusive, and neglectful to Black bodies. From the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiments to the compulsory sterilizations of Black women in the 1970s to the racist roots of gynecology, Black bodies have always been undervalued in the medical industry. The constant mistreatment of Black bodies continues to plague the Black American psyche. As the Coronavirus pandemic sieges the nation, Black communities bear the brunt of the infections due to existing healthcare disparities. It's a legacy of structural discrimination that has limited access to healthcare for Black people, and further increases mistrust between the Black community and the medical industry.
In my career, storytelling is the opportunity to raise awareness, get people engaged, and create compelling narratives. As I grow in my profession, I want to tell stories that amplify the voices of the unheard and compel audiences towards action. Similar to Ava DuVernay, I want to tell stories about social justice and to create transformational change from local communities to the national scale. Telling the story of “Maternity” furthers my goal as a filmmaker by creating riveting content that highlights inequalities in our healthcare system. I hope to bring social reform to film and create relatable narratives that can offer a voice to social issues.
- MARIA WARITH-WADE